still stuck in quiet places we find between forgotten buildings, silent structures outputting to nowhere - saw your body in my dream thought you were dead, thank god for waking up am i right, senseless stupid fucker disregard each and every word i may or may not have addressed to you - what's the use in talking/reaching/seeking, looking for someone i don't know in somewhere i wish i could forget, what makes a house a home and what sits between, listen with a sick stomach for noise from the other room, windows open but i swear i left it shut, forgot again, forgot again, think i said to you last time, keep secrets wrapped in fern leaves and twine, keep me gentle and soft in delusions through and out the mirror, metal not cold but lukewarm, asking for something not quite specific but the implication is sewn behind my neck, the lord giveth and taketh away and fuck if i don't see much difference anymore, anthills grow larger in absence and objects shift in spaces i am no longer familiar with, not mine to traverse but where am i left to go -
soft and sickly sweet, fingers down your throat until you reach the bottom, pull out something nice for me, ceilings been falling in on me and the floors not much better, redefining plains for the benefit of nobody, do it for the fuck of it, been gone a while now, come back soon, something leaking from the roof in the corner of my room and i disappear behind rhythmic patterns, telling me something i haven't figured out yet but i'm still listening, i'm always listening, wish you'd speak - fucker i wish you'd drop dead in the street, victim of a hit and run by any other name, complacency for your own benefit, taking it one step too far again and again, forever, telling me of course there's more than this but fuck if i don't see it coming for me, straight between the eyes, struck down by lightning/plague/realization/general disinterest - lack of poignancy and it shows, seeping out my pores into my bedsheets into my mattress into my floorboards, drawing strange shapes deep below where i lie, i'll never see them but like always, like always, listening for something - the sense of missing anything at all, baked in hard concrete walls and sending postcards for your heart, i wish you were here, god hears your suburban anguish and meets you with road rash, scorn past boils and blisters and get over yourself, don't you know you make your mother cry, don't you know you make your mother cry, don't you know you make your mother cry - drive through brick walls paint by numbers vivisection, lobotomy as intimacy and i'm asking nicely, think i missed my last train if i could stay the night, stay a week, i think i've grown into the mould on the bathroom walls, i think you forgot i was ever here at all, cry wolf to exhibit symptoms dictated ethereally but transcribed by nobody quite yet, i'm working on it, dead lamb corpse fucker sick and sick and sick and tired, baptised in the gutter with my head under modern tyres, i'll miss you and i'll miss the sun and flowers and birdsong but if you heard the second time (third time, fourth) it's not in my hands, sign on the line and pose for your portrait, fingerprints across my chest, banal and empty words fill hours and i could sit here forever, i might've been here forever, nice to sit with your friends, get in the car lie to your mother leave your phone at home and go, taken 15 from me, might as well take the rest, fucked it up already, might as well keep going, motel doors dont lock quite right and shadows follow me on my way out, call out to ask where exactly i am and i realise it's just you,
still back home as always, how long has the puddle been moving across the floor, clocks move differently when you're an object, scream to be heard fucker, make it somebody elses problem, clean your room and cut off your friends, burning books to find passages i knew were there, you're hiding like always, take heed of crooked street signs and block my number and move across the city, pack wounds with milk and honey, keeping septic promises as a gesture of goodwill, hard pill to swallow stuck in feeding tubes clogged with shit and saline, weary souls may take stride against nighttime highways, splayed out on the operating table, games of hide and seek, pulling organs to disinterested onlookers - anything to make you pay attention you fucker, what else do you want, fingers bitten to the bone and a voice over the wind wants you to beg - wants you to beg - plead against insects hiding in shoes and thumbtacks on the carpet and biblical papercuts and pointless garbage i spew to emulate intimacy, take it or leave it, worth nothing but the air it takes, beating heart off-time glueing sequins on roadkill bringing burnt offerings home to drop on your bedside, lovers embrace melting my skin like fucking napalm, god take these strings of crimson and build me a path out of here, ask nicely, ask me nicely, reasons yet undiscerned, crushed like a bug under concrete blocks and mortar sigils, taking turns to see who will be next, sign your name on my shirt, back home offhanded movements disjointed remarks pretend it's something important, reaching out here - i am reaching out here - change my ways and cut my hair and repent against sturdy limbs on trees that carry me like so many before, writing letters to apologise but i know you've heard it all already